Death Wish (1974)
The only real apparent death wish in this movie is to fuck with Charles Bronson.
Bronson (2008)
This fascinating biopic propels the viewer through the life of a man who epitomized the unconquerable nature of the human spirit, or it was a movie about one man's unique mental illness, or it was a mirror held up to the insanity of the very notion of criminal justice. In any case, Michael Peterson/Charles Bronson may not have been very bright, but he was a man, dammit. What have you done? This one gets four sentences.
This fascinating biopic propels the viewer through the life of a man who epitomized the unconquerable nature of the human spirit, or it was a movie about one man's unique mental illness, or it was a mirror held up to the insanity of the very notion of criminal justice. In any case, Michael Peterson/Charles Bronson may not have been very bright, but he was a man, dammit. What have you done? This one gets four sentences.
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011)
Hilariously insane Nicolas Cage, a team of CGI guys that love seeing flaming skeletons destroy things, a villain who can only eat Twinkies, and a severe lack of Eva Mendes combine to make a movie that should not have been made.
Hilariously insane Nicolas Cage, a team of CGI guys that love seeing flaming skeletons destroy things, a villain who can only eat Twinkies, and a severe lack of Eva Mendes combine to make a movie that should not have been made.
The Thing (1982)
The harrowing tale of an alien invader that throws a bunch of men with cabin fever into a crucible of distrust, all of which would be chilling even if it weren't set in the Antarctic.
The harrowing tale of an alien invader that throws a bunch of men with cabin fever into a crucible of distrust, all of which would be chilling even if it weren't set in the Antarctic.
Betty White's Off Their Rockers (2012)
Betty White's new take on the prank show proves conclusively that any complaints old people have about younger generations being disrespectful are total bullshit.
Betty White's new take on the prank show proves conclusively that any complaints old people have about younger generations being disrespectful are total bullshit.
Key and Peele (2012)
Black comedians Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele combine their hilarious forces together into a racially charged observational supergroup comedy sketch show, coming in at about half of a Dave Chappelle's worth between them.
Black comedians Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele combine their hilarious forces together into a racially charged observational supergroup comedy sketch show, coming in at about half of a Dave Chappelle's worth between them.
White Noise (2005)
The line between the terms "scary movie" and "boring for long, tedious stretches" continues to blur.
The line between the terms "scary movie" and "boring for long, tedious stretches" continues to blur.
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988)
In this fantastical film, Terry Gilliam makes us all wish that he released work as often as those awful people who make the Saw movies.
In this fantastical film, Terry Gilliam makes us all wish that he released work as often as those awful people who make the Saw movies.
A Few Best Men (2011)
Although its American remake could easily be called The Hangover Part III, this movie was quite hilarious, unless it was just the accents making everything funnier.
Although its American remake could easily be called The Hangover Part III, this movie was quite hilarious, unless it was just the accents making everything funnier.
Murder City, by Charles Bowden
You should probably read Murder City because it's non-fiction and about Juarez and so brutal that it makes Dethklok so not brutal.
You should probably read Murder City because it's non-fiction and about Juarez and so brutal that it makes Dethklok so not brutal.
X-Men: First Class (2011)
The prequel to the prequel that is better than the prequel and the sequel to the sequel.
The prequel to the prequel that is better than the prequel and the sequel to the sequel.
Mission Impossible: III (2006)
Tom Cruise's Ethan Hunt proves himself to be the world's worst secret agent yet again when he risks national security for the sake of some chick he's been banging.
Tom Cruise's Ethan Hunt proves himself to be the world's worst secret agent yet again when he risks national security for the sake of some chick he's been banging.
Immortals (2011)
One former boxer/actor and a troupe of male models team up to ruin ancient mythology, Romantic-era poetry, and 1980's kitsch all in one fell swoop.
One former boxer/actor and a troupe of male models team up to ruin ancient mythology, Romantic-era poetry, and 1980's kitsch all in one fell swoop.
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